I spent several years working as a commercial lender. During that time, I developed close relationships with some of my clients as, for them, the challenges they faced in their businesses often required frequent meetings, which deepened our connection. I recently reconnected with one of those clients. It was a good visit – we reflected on the years that had passed and discussed everything from his bankruptcy and divorce to his estranged children and his new life and new wife in California. Very talented, he found work right away as a Manager for an international company.
Once we’d caught up, our conversation led to a discussion about leadership. He now had 8 direct reports, and expressed very strong views on how leaders (and employees) should behave. His approach was very reminiscent of the command-and-control leadership style exhibited by the managers I worked for while still in high-school. My approach, by contrast, is that leaders accept that their primary role is to support their team by removing obstacles and ambiguities, and work on creating a new team of new leaders. Humility plays a role and there’s an assumption that if an employee knows why their role or task is important, they’re more likely to execute.
I found the conversation a challenge. He scoffed at the mention of his company’s DEI (diversity, equity, inclusion) strategies, cited millennials for their lack of work ethic, and he couldn’t see how his leadership style might be contributing to the recent increase in staff turnover. Pointedly, he branded me as “weak” for accepting individual differences and not imposing my will on the team. (So much for storming and norming!) After some time, I think we may have found a middle ground by acknowledging that leadership isn’t about choosing between two extremes. It’s about balancing the extremes effectively.
The conversation fit nicely with a book I recently read.
I don’t normally write about my readings, but I recently finished The Dichotomy of Leadership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. Whether you’re a business owner, a general manager, or an emerging leader, I want to share how mastering the extremes is crucial for leading your team to success, and how it can make you a more effective leader.
Why Extremes Fail in Leadership
In leadership, being too rigid can make you seem unapproachable, while being too lenient may lead to a lack of discipline and accountability. Leaders who swing to either extreme often struggle with keeping their teams motivated and aligned with their vision.
In the book, Willink and Babin explain that effective leadership involves navigating dichotomies such as:
· Being decisive yet open to feedback.
· Empowering your team while maintaining accountability.
· Planning thoroughly but acting with flexibility.
The problem with leading from either extreme is team performance will suffer:
· A leader who’s too hands-off may leave their team feeling unsupported.
· A leader who’s too controlling can stifle creativity and lead to micromanagement.
Balanced leadership for business success
I often point out that we're all practicing - my underlying message is that we should all be learning. Leaders must learn to balance competing forces, that is they must learn to harness the extremes. For example, when you’re leading a team, it’s essential to delegate - because you can’t do it all. At the same time, you must keep an eye on the bigger picture to ensure that everyone is on track. That’s your job as the leader – to see the bigger picture while supporting your direct reports to manage the smaller picture you’ve created for them.
Good leaders who find the balance, know when to give freedom and when to step in. When you find the balance, your team will remain on course. When you get it right, you’ll see an increase in trust. and you will be surprised at the growth.
This balance relates directly to defining accountability – a word that when used improperly will kill morale.
Imagine a business owner who needs their team to hit targets. If the owner constantly micromanages how each person performs, it will suffocate initiative and creativity. On the flip side, not checking in at all will leave the team to drift off course.
Balanced leadership means setting clear goals, clear expectations for performance, and working with the team so that they know how they can reach the goals. It also means meeting regularly to check on progress and see who might need support. This is why I’m a big fan of the weekly meeting – it boosts accountability and encourages problem-solving.
4 Actionable Steps to Achieve Balanced Leadership
Drawn from Willinks and Babin's book, here are four steps you can can to achieve more balance to your leadership approach.
Be Clear About Expectations: Communicate your goals clearly but leave room for your team to determine the “how.”
Foster Independence: Give team members the freedom to make decisions within the framework of your overall strategy.
Adapt Your Leadership Style: Not every situation requires the same level of control. Be flexible in how you lead based on the context.
Meet Regularly, Seek Feedback, and Lead with Confidence: Listen to your team, but make the final decision when necessary.
Wrapping Up
Referring to management, baseball Hall of Famer Sparky Anderson, is quoted as saying “If you have good players, and you keep them in the right frame of mind, the manager is a success. The players make the manager. It’s never the other way.” Sparky Anderson knew this years ago! Good leaders don’t blindly parrot the leaders of their youth and expect buy-in from today’s workforce. They know that much has changed. No two projects are the same. Even projects that look identical at the beginning can look much different once the work is underway.
The bottom line then, is to continue your practice, good leaders understand that it’s not about them and that by walking the fine line between control and freedom, decisiveness and flexibility that they’ll have a more engaged and accountable team. I encourage you to try adapting your leadership style. Email me and let me know how it works out
Book Credit:
The Dichotomy of Leadership, Authors: Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, Publisher: St. Martin’s Press, Publication Date: September 25, 2018, ISBN: 978-1250195777
Pivotleader's Norm Adams has 30-years’ experience coaching and consulting with small business owners, Indigenous entrepreneurs, as well as public and private companies in Canada and the United States. How effective if your team? Do you know? If you need a second set of eyes, contact Norm today at norm@pivotleader.com.
ps. Save the Date! We’ll have more details in the future, but we’ve picked the date for Strategic Planning Day 2025 at the Prince George Golf and Curling Club. Join Norm Adams and Dave Fuller on Thursday, January 9th at 10am!
Commentaires